5 days to lisbon

there have been a lot of countdowns lately in my life, you and the other girls have made it possible to always at the beginning of the day have a small countdown to our next big event.
it started with the weekend in Dublin, then with Celia's wedding, then with you moving back to Lisbon... then with Sofia's wedding... and even though this last one still will go on for another 15 days, in 4 days i will be going home.

i keep thinking this is ok. this is just the first step of a very long goodbye. but i can't help but be sad. everytime i have something planned these last days, it's the last time. i will be back in one month, but then it will only another 10 days for me stay here, and saying goodbye in a hurry isn't the way i'd preferred doing this.

i've got TO DO lists that keep growing because everyday i realize something else needs to be done, or written, or said or signed, or closed, or packed. and still i think i haven't done anything.

still to do:
- pick up University documents
- pick up Board of Architects documents (and pay my bill)
- Standard CV
- close the electricity account
- close the tv account
- close internet account
- close bank account
- sell furniture

these things take time and i feel that i still haven't got enough of it.

maybe i should just see this trip to lisbon, as what it really is for now, another holiday. greet says in order to not get sad "you're just going for a holiday like you always do... so this isn't goodbye... yet"
that's what it is... why be so sad now?
because cookie girl will be 7 months when i come back and she'll be able to sit up straight and maybe even put her feet on the floor and giggle so much more.
i'll be back... but now i've got bags to do, because in a way i know you're there with all the girls waiting for me and that means that i'll be sad for just a little bit.