dreaming limbo

i had a dream (yes so did u martin) last night where i had just bought this enormous barn, i didn't actually pay for it, i just know it was mine, where i strated putting in everything i loved about A'pen.

i stuffed it like so it almost burst at the seams, and you'd think i had nothing to stuff it with, no sir, i had plenty, between good breakfast places, i counted 4, good dinner places, those are about... 12, good lunch bars, 6, coffee places, 3, places i'd go if i couldn't go to the places i really wanted, probably 6, shops... hmmm my favorite, 18, places i hate but are part of my memories, about 3... bookshops, 2 (only because antwerp is missing a few of these). i put in miniture sized streets, miniature sized crossroads, miniature sized squares... and stret corners, and traffic lights (did you know that on valentine's day they put hearts in the red lights?? cool huh? ya i know, corny but still i put them inside my barn).
oh what else. no, not people, they were al standing there behind me watching as i picked and stored away so many things. i just put clones of the guys of the REVISTA bar so that i'd have copies of them and it doesn't count as people!!! why? 'cause... duh!

and after all this was packed away it just all of a sudden got swollowed by earth, as in planet earth. it dissapeard like it meant nothing. it got eaten by the ground. i couldn't believe it... but seeing that all the people i would've wanted to pack away in that same barn with the revista guys were still there, with the same habits, smiles, gossip stories and ticks i had this feeling of tranquility. in a way maybe it just meant that, in the future when i come back to Antwerp, it probably will have change a lot, maybe nothing will ever be the same, but they will all be there.
i guess when i go back to Milan that is what conforts me. and even in Lisbon, seeing all of thos who i grew up with makes me want to be there. it doesn't mean that they haven't done anything, they just adapted their lives to this city that will keep moving... and i think that is much braver that leaving.

...or maybe the dream meant that whatever i try to get organized, and ticked off my TO DO LIST, one moment i'll look and it will all be gone, i'll take care of burocratic stuff and then i'll fall down the stairs and i can't leave anymore, or Portugal will declare that girls that know how to make cupcakes shouldn't leave the country, or i'll be discovered by Martha Stewart and they'll exile me to New York...
and all the people i should've put in that barn will be whistling away ignoring me...

this dream interpreting business will one day give me a heart attack.

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